Archive

Monthly Archives: August 2017

Profound thinking happening again and I really hope other people stop, look, read and digest what I’m saying and start thinking the same way because this time, I think, what I’m trying to say really matters and really matters to us all.

I might not be saying it well but it comes from the heart.

So, here goes, here are my thoughts.

I have received some very bad news. The sort of news that hits you hard, takes your breath away and that you are uncertain how to deal with. I have learnt that one of my oldest friends died very recently and, despite the fact we had been talking about meeting up for a meal or a show for ages, it was always something we were going to do next week or next month or the next time he was in town but, that time never happened, we never got that chance. We were always too busy.

Then we both got sicker so we, were left with the chatting on the phone and messages on Facebook instead. Not the same as a face to face chat but better than nothing I suppose. At least we could spend hours gossiping, which we did,  but even so….

Then he got even sicker, which I knew about because he phoned me from his hospital bed, but we were still planning on meeting up when he had recovered. Because he was going to recover, wasn’t he? I’m not because my impairment is incurable but his wasn’t was it? But it wasn’t.

Just over a week ago, I received a phone call from his sister to tell me that sadly, he’d died a couple of weeks previously.

It was too late.

Now we’ll never get the chance to meet up properly ever again and I so regret that.

That meal we were going to have, that show we were going to see together, that happy reunion we were going to have will never happen now. We’d had plenty of chances over the years but we’d always left it because we were too busy and there was plenty of time. But busy doing what? Not doing the thing that should have mattered most, being friends and taking time for each other and sharing our lives with the people that matter, that’s for sure.

On the day I got that call I’d actually been checking to see if he’d posted on social media as he hadn’t rung for a couple of days and I was vaguely worried as I did know how sick he’d been. I knew he had a new mobile but I didn’t have the number and I’d thought about ringing the hospital and asking for him but, as I didn’t know which ward he was on it would have been unlikely they would have put me through and, as I’m not family, they probably wouldn’t have told me anything anyway. 

It’s not the first time this has happened to me either but, for some reason, this time seems to be particularly hard. Maybe because, unlike with the other people in my life who have died, he was younger than me – still in his forties whilst I’m in my fifties now. Maybe because we had been chatting on the phone only a couple of days before he died and ending our conversation with the well-worn phrase, ‘Chat soon. Sleep well.’ Maybe because, although we’d both known he was sick, neither of us had realised just how sick he was. Maybe because we’d always thought there could be a time for us to do our thing. Together. But that time never came and that’s so sad.

I didn’t even get the chance to go to his funeral to say my last goodbye because, by the time I got the phone call from his family telling me of his death, it had already happened and I’d missed it. Not that I think that I should have had special treatment, I was, after all, just a friend but it would have been nice to know. Not that I’d have been likely to have been able to make it due to my impairment but it would have been nice to have had the opportunity.

I think I’m going to become a lot more of a ‘live for today’ sort of person. I never want to find I’ve lost my final chance with anyone because I never want to miss out on a last chat with a friend or relative again – it hurts too much and, for the last time, goodbye my friend, sleep well.

Advertisements

I experienced a modern modern day problem yesterday which I think we, as a society, really need to think about pretty urgently.

I am someone who has one of those pendant alarm buttons which are issued to older and disabled people so we can call for help should we fall or have an urgent medical issue, where we need medical assistance when we are on our own if fall and injure ourselves or become ill and need rescuing.

And, most of the time, this is a good plan, just as long as it all works smoothly. But, and it’s a big but, these alarm buttons rely on us having a working landline connection and, unfortunately, that is not always the case as I have now discovered.

Briefly, I live in South East London and get my telephone and Internet service provided through Sky, which is usually fine. However, yesterday evening we had a massive power outage thanks to some rats which eat through some fibre optic cables somewhere, knocking out both the phone and the Internet for thousands of us across the entire area. No phone, no Internet, nothing. Silence. Very annoying for most people anyway but, for those of us who have alarm call buttons for emergencies, this meant we were unable to use them to call for help, should we need it, from around 11pm last night until about 10.30/11am this morning.

Twelve whole hours when anything could have happened.

In my case, this issue was compounded by the fact that my mobile had run out of battery and needed charging but that’s my fault and it’s now connected to my charger, doing it’s thing but there must have been other people who don’t have mobiles at all who experienced the same outage as me. So what were they supposed to do?

Only this week I learnt about someone in one of my Facebook groups who, having knocked over a bottle of bleach onto the floor, fell out of her wheelchair and ended up lying in the resultant corrosive puddle for several hours before she was rescued, who now is in hospital with serious chemical burns on her arm and chest. Thirty five years ago my own grandmother, who was in her eighties at the time, died in hospital following a fall in her kitchen when she broke her hip and lay injured on the floor for many hours before being found. Sure, had either Grandma or the Facebook wheelchair user had an alarm button they should have been able to call for help, but only if the system was working.

Which, last night, it wasn’t.  

I’m lucky, usually my daughter is here as she lives with me and last night, because she’s away, a friend stopped over for the night so there was someone I could have yelled to if I needed them but, what would I have done had I fallen out of bed, been unable to use my alarm button and my friend had not been here? Lain on the floor, all night, alone, cold, possibly seriously injured with a broken arm, leg or hip until my carers came for their morning visit and found me.

It’s the stuff of nightmares and doesn’t bear thinking about.

So, my question is, are we too reliant these days on the pseudo safetynet of technology and, if we are, what can we do about it? Is there a solution? Perhaps Local Authorities should have an emergency team who are on call, in the event of a techno failure, to go round to everyone who has an alarm button to make sure they are ok. Possibly, but probably impractical and certainly expensive. Maybe those of us who are issued with an alarm call pendant, which we have to pay for, should also be issued with an emergency mobile phone that the button is also linked too so that, in the event that the landline goes down, the button links to the mobile service provider instead. More practicle but also expensive but it has to be better than than having no backup plan whatsoever

I don’t know what the solution is but somebody could have ended up seriously ill, injured or even dead thanks to yesterday’s power outage. We need to think fast and we need to think of something now before it’s too late.    

Same Difference

The Department for Work and Pensions has been unlawfully stopping people going to tribunal to appeal against decisions to refuse them benefits, three senior judges have ruled.

The upper tribunal found it was wrong for the DWP to refuse claimants the right to appeal if they took more than a month to ask for a review of the benefit decision.

It comes just a week after a supreme court finding that the government was unlawfully charging fees of up to £1,200 for access to employment tribunals.

The DWP system was challenged by the Child Poverty Action Group and two claimants with serious mental health problems who were refused disability benefits and then failed to ask for an internal review within the one-month time limit.

They made late applications for an internal review, called “mandatory reconsideration”, of their benefit decisions, but the DWP initially refused to change the decision or let…

View original post 475 more words